Little Raz our 11 week old Bichon x Maltese has fitted into the family very well. Here she is curled up on Codi’s jeans. I’ll have to also post a pic of Lemonade our four year old Bichon x maltese.

I have noticed lately Codi’s (now 17 months), eating habits are slightly changing. Mind you my son is reknowned for his extraordinary appetite amongst his friends and family. What I have observed is his preference for softer foods when he is teething, especially with the canines coming through he is more cautious with what food he goes for. Once the bottom canine teeth have finished coming through it will be a relief as then he will have full sets of teeth. At the moment I think his palate is also changing opting for more full flavored foods, rather than the plain finger food I have been offering for the last 7 months. So I think I will start to get a little more inventive and look for quick and easy recipes that are yummy. Rice seems to be a favorite. I think different versions of dumplings and meatballs may be the go. Home made chips are a 5 star, but not vege chips he’s quick on the up take and won’t be fooled. One thing I can get him to eat is broccoli. I think maybe its just time to get back in the kitchen and explore. I think I have had it quite easy the last 7 months providing finger food, when previously I was teaching myself how to bake again, hehe. Oh well, my 6 foot 1.5 hubby will have to start reaching for the stop button on our kitchen smoke alarms again. hehe.

After having Codi, your thoughts turn to having another bub. My idea was to have our kids two years apart, which would put the trying month as August. As Codi’s birthday is the 30th of August I wanted to have a few more months past Codi’s birthday so that bub number two would have their own birthday. My ideal plan was for January to fall pregnant. Clay and I fall pregnant quite easily, but I became quite broody in November and had just stopped taking the contraceptive pill. You’d think I would remember to still take extra precautions as you do, but I think I got swept up in thinking that the pill was still in my system and it would be at least three months before I would fall pregnant, which would have been around Jan 06. To cut the long story short, I fell pregnant shortly after stopping the pill and deep down I didn’t fell ‘right’. My suspicions increased when only 7 weeks I started to experience cramping. In addition to this I started spotting the Saturday, bleeding more the Sunday and miscarried the Monday night after I had seem my ob and had been booked in. One thing I knew was that the cramping and bleeding over those days helped me come to terms with the fact that I was losing the pregnancy, before it was made official. I miscarried at around 8 weeks (only really 6 weeks old and not growing) the night before my booked in D&C, which still had to proceed as there was still tissue remaining, which I was grateful for having the op. I think I was more sad about the fact it was a set back, but knowing that too it was not really what I ultimately planned for, it gave me some reassurance. But don’t worry I still sobbed my heart out grieving over ‘what could have been’. I have always been a true believer in understanding the medical side of it, like not having a heart beat, being the size of a finger nail, helps to put things into perspective. But, ultimately it’s a feeling that mother nature’s looking after you even though you feel like you are walking alone in the wilderness you’re not. I think my husband has been all things for me and the support I have gotten from my mother’s group and close friends has been the one thing that has made me realize that many people go through set backs large or small, but the one thing that keeps you feeling special and thought about is being able to reach out and receive so much back. Now two weeks later, I am feeling very happy and focused on my little boy, knowing that when the time is right he will have a little brother or sister…

The only thought I have is that for my own interest would love to know just how common miscarriage is? What conditions where present before getting pregnant and how to increase your chances of a better bodily environment? How to be mindful of what has been known to attribute to miscarriages? How to understand what is happening to you? How to cope with the loss and move on? — Again these are the things I would have loved to have known even if I didn’t experience it, which now in this case I have. It would have been great to have been provided known resource on the subject matter say from my obstetrician or doctor etc. I might have a look on the web again.

Had a great weekend so far, the weather had gone from hot to a cooler gale so swimming was out today. Codi slept in till around 8am which he has been doing lately after a big week of emerging teeth. I read the process of what teeth come out when and Codi’s molars and canines have all come out at once, so much for the expected process, hehe. Thank goodness for the teething salts, and bonjela every now and then. Well, I had a little sleep in again which was nice. Codi went off with his dad in the afternoon to a kids play centre, which has sections for under 3’s, 6’s and 12’s with each area supplying a jumpy castle and play areas all in a huge warehouse. I relaxed at the haridressers with a cut and blow dry.

I thought it was time for me to set up my own blog on being a mom. I now have had the opportunity to stop being an active business partner and become a full time mom. Living in ozzie land where the sun shines most of the year round with pristine beaches, owning an internet company with a US target market and operating it from ozzie land was a challenge. But I am glad we stayed and did not move to the US. We like the slow paced lifestyle and we think it’s a great place to bring up kids.
Deciding to start a family obviously lead me to my discovery of motherhood and the impact on myself as an entrepreneur, being catapulted into this new life phase. I realized, a few months into the exercise that the meaning of life was clear, even through the sleepless nights and endless demands on my leaking body, that what I was doing was such a beautiful and loving thing. To bring my son into the world and being the primary person to welcome him into our now newly formed family, I suppose you can say it was an epiphany.
Being an entrepreneur in the Search Engine Marketing space I was used to piles and piles of information and the complexities of the space, so I naturally assumed that the old age art of rearing children was down pat, well documented and, golden advice past down from generations to generations. Motherhood would be a breeze, just follow the instructions and your home free!!!!! I was a follower of all the great business icons, had read all their books and used what worked for our business, surely I will find successful mothers before me that I would follow? I naturally assumed that I would have the same level and quality of access to tools and methods so readily available in the business arena.

To my shock that it’s just not quite the same. I would have to embarked on actually talking to other moms, listen to very strong views from Clinic Nurses (god bless ‘em) and listening to copious amounts of unsolicited and sometimes old fashioned advice. The real world was the same as the internet world were at a click of a button I could filter the info, be at a computer and talk the talk with my fellow passionate techies. I would have to stop being the net geek and come out so to speak and reconnect.

The last 16 months has been the best character building and self awareness journey I could take. I have kind of figured now 16 months later a kind of stability and peace with my own formula for being the best mom I can be. I hope I can share with you my day’s achievements or just read about what I’ve been up to, as a mom.